I once thought a Big Mac was good

So I’m stuck in unexplainable I-25 traffic passing Invesco Field when all of a sudden a rogue thought pops into my head. Dude. That big eared son of a bitch Josh McDaniels is a damn genius. Try to follow me on this one.

Following a 3-13 season, and the franchise in a clear state of disarray, the Dallas Cowboys were sold to Jerry Jones 1989. First order of business for the oil tycoon and new club owner? Fire the franchise icon, two time NFL champion, and the only person to coach the team in the history of its existence, Tom Landry. Shock and awe. The legendary fedora replaced by a young, luscious head of hair, University of Miami (“the u”) coach Jimmy Johnson. And Jerry wasn’t done there.

Naturally the toilet deposit that was the previous season relegated the ‘boys to the first overall pick in the 1989 draft, a relegation that the ‘boys used to draft then future hall of famer Troy Aikman. In a second audacious move by new owner Jerry Jones, and in the midst of the 1989 season, the Cowboys traded two time pro-bowl running back Herschel Walker, for well, something like this….

Minnesota gets:

- Herschel Walker
- Dallas’ 1990 3rd round pick
- San Diego’s 1990 5th round pick
- Dallas’s 1990 10th round pick… they had a 10th round back then?
- Dallas’ 1991 3rd round pick
- 20 years of gift baskets from Jerry Jones
- Replica Cowboys Super Bowl Rings

Dallas gets:

- LB Jesse Solomon
- LB David Howard
- CB Issaic Holt
- Minnesota’s 1990 1st,2nd,6th round picks
- Minnesota’s 1991 1st, 2nd round picks
- Minnesota’s 1992 2nd, 3rd round pick
- Minnesota’s 1993 1st round pick
- The rights to then Vikings’ general manager Mike Lynn’s first born son
- 40 acres and a mule
- 3 super bowl championships

The three subsequent drafts following the trade and 1989 season yielded nine, I repeat, nine, pro bowlers and the uniting of the Aikman-Irvin-Smith triumvirate that would bring the city of Dallas an NFL dynasty, and Jerry Jones the right to freeload off said dynasty for the next 13 years. You follwin’ me camera guy?

Now, the legalized rape, trade style, probably would not exist today being how a majority of NFL upper management is well, literate. But the song remains the same.

Flash forward 20 years, the Broncos are unequivocally mediocre. And a brand new coach is hired to analyze the situation, diagnose the problem, and fix it. In the short term, you have a prominent offense, with no running back, and no defense. The problem is, realistically, Jay Cutler is good enough to carry your team to 7-9 and year after year of middle round draft picks.

And here’s where a stroke of brilliant long term thinking, and an acute knowledge of NFL history influences a decision to trade the best player on your team. Sam Bradford, Colt McCoy, and Tim Tebow are in the NFL Draft next year. So you can take it from here right? Trade Cutler, get your extra first round picks in 2009 and 2010, along with your third rounder in 2010, burn one of your first round picks next year to draft Sam Bradford, use the other picks to build the defense, and attempt to win championships with the Bradford-Moreno-Marshall triumvirate. In other words, tank the season to get a quarterback, who even if he is not as good as Cutler, will be pretty damn close, and rebuild your team faster, and younger….. ooo, I'm not feeling so good...


Josh McDaniels lives up to his given name… After 10 minutes of buying into a big mac... I had to take a crap.

Back to I-25, when I finally came down off of my grease high and traffic started moving, I realized how wrong I was. First, the original trade big mac wanted to make was for career backup Matt Cassel. Second, and most importantly… BIG MAC TRADED THE BRONCOS FIRST ROUND DRAFT PICK NEXT YEAR FOR 2ND ROUND PICK CORNERBACK ALPHONSO SMITH THIS YEAR!...... oh man, I think something is wedged in my small intestine.

…The hamburgler would run a team better. Instead of providing method to his madness of bringing in veteran defensive players like Brian Dawkins and pissing off and trading his best players, he rolls up the sleeves on his new hoodie, concentrates on giving cryptic answers to injury inquiries, and taking pot-shots at the quarterback he traded away and whooped his ass. Really Big Mac? the fans were… “more than a 6”… that’s all you got? Say that again when your 1-6 and your stadium is more full of Cowboy, Steeler, Patriot, etc. fans than Broncos… oh god, I gotta go potty..


Nothing says Championship like this picture

This team has so many holes, Sonny’s bullet ridden body at the end of Godfather looks like a pretty good gig. Big Mac will continue to clog the arteries of the franchise until its so embarrassing they move the franchise to Los Angeles, or until its cholesterol level is so high it has to be prescribed a lifetime supply Plavix… er… Bill Cowher. And with the 1st pick in the 2010 NFL Draft… the Seattle Seahawks select… if the Bible wasn’t written 2000 years ago, Josh McDaniels would be the 8th deadly plague... alright I’m done… enough broncos, donkeys, asses, jackasses talk.. I wish I could say it’s going to be a long season for the Broncos… but it’s going to be more like a long five seasons… alright I’m piling on.. I’m done.