XLI: The "uh-Oh" face

 Yes, the Cowboys got embarrassed by the Minnesota Brett Favres on Sunday and I can't fit all of my thoughts and feelings on this game and season in one entry, so I'm going to try something new. I'm going to try and throw a post up every day. Not necessarily on the Cowboys, (though this week might be a little over loaded) but more like the ushering in of a new era. Call it a new year's resolution that I didn't really think of or start until three weeks into the new year.

I figure I can pump one out at least a little one every day, with a couple big ones sprinkled in here and there. The Irish-Catholic mother model I suppose.

Let's get some addiction going. Take by eyesight everyday. If taken with alcohol or marijuana good for you. If you have an erection lasting longer than 4 hours cut it off, unless it's the female kind then hit me up.

XLI: The "uh-Oh" face

There is a point in time when you know the Dallas Cowboys are going to lose.  It usually happens when the Cowboys' line finds itself outmatched. It always happens when Tony Romo starts "scrambling," if that's what you want to call it, throwing interceptions, and giving away fumbles. The more times he does it, the more times Fox, NBC, ESPN, CBS, or whoever is televising the game, shows close-up replays of Tony Romo doing more harm by trying to extend plays, than good by just eating the sack.

One of my favorite comedies of all time is "Office Space." Clever dialogue, funny situations, lasting characters, a young and tight Jennifer Aniston. In this movie, that one guy from that one Allstate commercial, describes for us the face one makes as he reaches climax.... the "oh-face."

The thing about that movie is that everyone nails their parts. Whenever someone makes reference to the "oh-face" I can't help but picture that blond guy from the Allstate commercial. He has pretty much patented the "oh-face" without, to my knowledge, collecting royalties.


Tony Romo so too, has become iconic to a face that causes a mix of reactions ranging from laughter to hate. (I hate it) It is, the "uh-Oh face."  You know, as previously described, the face Romo makes when he's scrambling to avoid a sack, or .... something. The mixture of god-only-knows how many emotions to produce an eye-squinting, eyebrow-raising, mouth agape monstrosity that only Tony Romo and mongoloids can make. It has somewhat become symbolic of the last decade for the Cowboys. And for the life of me, I can't quite put my finger on what exactly it is.


My initial reaction is the face a dude makes when he's trying to desperately stave off premature ejaculation during the first time he's had sober sex with a supermodel. This kind of represents the ineptitude that is portrayed by the "uh-Oh" face. As romo dances around like a school girl, a closer zoom in on his face reveals a sense of inability to overcome the situation. Back to the analogy, Romo knows if he doesn't deliver the best sex he is physically capable of, or at very least hitting the ten-minute mark, Marisa Miller will give you the dreaded half-smirk that says "haha really? that was it?" as you desperately scream "no just hold on a couple minutes... come on! come on!" It's not like he doesn't want to perform up to expectations, it's just that he can't. Marisa's body is just too ridiculous, and he's a virgin.

However, I'm not sure it captures the severity of the situation. This face is seen often under extreme duress, facing seemingly overwhelming adversity. The "uh-Oh face" conveys a certain level of helplessness that is really only achieved by like, dying baby seals after an oil spill.

Perhaps then, it's closer to the face someone would make should they realize that they have instantaneously lost all control of normally voluntary, and smelly, bodily functions.

Think if that happened to you. A more exaggerated Harry face after Lloyd puts exlax in his good luck coffee. The shock at such an occurrence would make anyone do a full body clinch as they sprint to the nearest bathroom. It's not necessarily the person's fault a sudden body valve wants open when it needs to stay shut, but that won't make a bit of difference to the people who have to face the consequences of being your smelly negative externality.

Alas, I'm not really sure that captures the ineptitude of the first description. It must be some combination then. Perhaps its the face a dude would make should he instantaneously lose control of normally voluntary and smelly bodily functions, WHILST, staving off premature ejaculation during the first time he's had sober sex with a supermodel.

And what a situation that would be! Not only the angry "uh oh" that comes from realizing your own finite limitations, but additionally the panic "uh oh" that comes from realizing you are in a perilous situation out of your hands. As Romo runs around aimlessly what else could he possibly be thinking but "uh oh!"? It's not all Romo's fault, but that's precisely where the other side comes in.

The "uh-Oh" face is not something people can believe in. When teammates see the "uh-Oh" face, they don't rally, they warm up the bus. He is good enough for people to place expectations, but not good enough to step up when it counts. In reality, the "uh-Oh" face the culmination of realizing the situation or stage is too big for him, the ultimate "uh oh." The yin and yang of "uh ohs."

The Romo "uh oh" face.

And that's why the Dallas Cowboys got embarrassed by the Minnesota Vikings.